Failing to try

by Andi Lutz

When I was younger, about half the age I am now, I felt alone and unsure, unsure what to do with my life and with the confusion that everyone must feel as teenager. Today I still feel that way. And I wonder, does it ever go away, or does it stick with everyone to make sure that we are always evolving, trying to improve. Always questioning is this right, what I am doing, is there something more, and if so what is it? How do I find it?

Trying is how you find it. I haven't mastered that, I haven't even tried to try. I don't think I am afraid of failing, I am afraid of trying. In failing it means you have actually attempted something. I just don't even want to attempt something, it's easier not to. Too much work goes into actually doing something. I am not a doer, I am an observer. I would rather sit around and watch others do and enjoy the outcome. I think that is my doing without actually doing.

In My Head