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It's My Birthday




Olive Garden Pasta Pass
by Andi Lutz
It's My Birthday

It was my birthday and my girlfriends took me out to a fancy dinner. I got dressed up, I even put on nice shoes, they had a heel and everything. I was hoping to go to you know where, but it didn’t happen. Instead they took me to some over-priced place with food on the menu which I had no idea what it was. There was absolutely no pasta in the restaurant, I asked, the waiter looked at me like I was crazy. So, no they absolutely did not have never ending pasta.

Oh, well. I was going to try to make the best of it, I was with my friends, after all. We drank wine and chatted. And gossiped. When my food came it looked like a teeny, tiny piece of art, as if it wasn’t meant to be consumed. Every little sprig, sauce, or shaving was painstakingly placed at just the right angle on my plate. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, anyway if I did, I’d still be hungry. How can they call this a meal, it’s like they put it through a shrinky dink machine before they brought it out.

I managed to look like I was eating, at least for a while. I pushed the little pieces of food around on the plate and made a stick man but he was missing an arm. I’d think for $50 a plate they could have given me four pieces of asparagus, so my guy could have all his limbs.





I pulled my phone out to check the time. I could still hit Olive Garden on the way home and eat some real food. I looked up, no one was watching me, I slid the phone under the table and lowered my gaze so I could see it. I opened the Olive Garden app then started selecting different combinations from their never ending pasta menu and came up with a new one I’d never had. My mouth started to water. Then I noticed that everyone at the table was silent, I looked up. Everyone was staring at me.

“Um, you know, I don’t feel well. I think I’m going to head home.” I said my goodbyes and guiltily headed out to my car. I already had the quickest route to Olive Garden planned out.

When I got there I ordered the new combination I created on the app. I dished out my salad and breadsticks that are all regular size and don’t cost a fortune, actually they don’t cost a thing with my meal. Ah, it was good to be back. I looked around and felt so welcome sitting there alone. I wondered whether it would look odd if I asked them to sing Happy Birthday for my table of one. A huge smile came over me and I didn’t feel the lettuce stuck in my teeth. Why not, let them sing, it’s my birthday!


Olive Garden Pasta Pass
What is it?
Waiting, and waiting, it’s finally here!
The Missing Pass
Bathtub of Soup
It's My Birthday

#OliveGardenPastaPass

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